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MUST READ: Ten Uncomfortable Truths

Credit here goes to Lucifer214 on the Attraction Forums

Ten uncomfortable truths...

Let me enlighten you to a few uncomfortable truths that you absolutely must accept if you ever want to have a good relationship with a woman, ever. Guys seem to have the hardest time understanding and accepting these things, and nearly every this one girl/one-itis post, nearly every "I just can't get past my limiting beliefs" post, and nearly every "this doesn't work for me" post can be addressed by understanding and accepting one or more of these truths. These are in no particular order, so don't take them as ordered by importance or whatever. I'm going to format it like a question was posed, and then answer it.



1. How do I know if she wants to be my girlfriend, or if she just wants to be friends?

Women know within the first 5 minutes whether they want to have sex with you or not. If they don't, it's an uphill battle changing their minds. If they do, all you have to do is not fuck it up and you'll be having sex with her as soon as she is comfortable enough with you. A woman is never undecided about it after you've been hanging out talking to her for an hour or so, she is never saying to herself "Do I like this guy? Do I want to be his friend or his lover?", that's just not how it works. She decides immediately which category you fit into, and if she puts you into the lover category, it is up to you to show her that you're man enough to fill that role. If not, you kind of automatically fall into the friend category. This is why you should treat every woman as if you are going to be her lover. Sarge on like you expect to lay her, and if she has already decided that she never wants to fuck you, she'll let you know.

Women, by and large, want men to take charge and make decisions. If you don't take charge and decide that you're going to be her lover, you won't be. It's that simple. The man who sits there and says "What does she want? Does she want me to touch her? Does she want me to kiss her? Does she want me to fuck her?", is a man who never has a satisfying relationship with a woman.



2. How do I be her friend if she doesn't want to be more than friends?

Ok, first of all this is a terrible question that should never even enter your head. You should meet every woman with the intention of being her friend AND her lover (assuming she's attractive and interesting enough). If the chemistry just isn't there for one or both of you, you should still be able to be friends with her.

It is easy to try to be her lover, fuck it up, and become her friend. It is extremely difficult to try to be her friend, and then decide later that you want to be her lover. So if there is any chance whatsoever that you could have a sexual/romantic relationship with a woman, and I mean any miniscule iota of a chance, you behave as if you want to be her lover. Let her tell you she only wants to be friends after you fuck it up, and at least you tried. But going back to lovers from friends after you've fucked it up is extremely difficult.



3. What if I don't want to fuck her on the first night? Or day 2? Or month 2?

If you are going to have a sexual relationship with a woman, it necessarily must happen within the first, say, 20 hours* of knowing her. Mystery Method teaches men how to do it in 4-10 hours, but you can take longer than that without blowing it. However, if you haven't fucked her within about 20 hours, she has already decided that you're not man enough to be her lover, because real men want sex and they seek it actively. In her mind, you have become an androgynous, sexless friend after 20 hours without making any moves. Unless you have a valid disqualifier, like one or both of you are in an exclusive relationship (and even that one is iffy), you should be having sex with her in under 20 hours. If she's a friend of your girlfriend or something like that, then you still want to attract her as if you want to have sex with her, but you just can't cross that line into actually trying to have sex with her until the disqualifier is nullified. So there are some circumstances where you might know her for longer, but once you have actually started trying to close, the clock is ticking.

The bottom line here is that if you don't want sex there is something inherently inferior about you as a man, because the major biological drive for males of any species is reproduction. It is higher priority than feeding yourself, covering yourself from the weather, and even saving your own life. There is no way to spread your seed without a sex drive, which is why it is the most basic and fundamental biological imperative you have. If you don't have a sex drive, work on that shit. You are not a man without it.

You can say that sex isn't that important, that you'd rather have a relationship, but what you have to realize is that sex is how the relationship starts. Prior to sex, you're just some guy, maybe with the potential to become a lover, but you're not her lover until you are having sex. So if you want to have a relationship, you do that by first having sex with her. So, for those of you who say you don't want to have casual sex with tons of women, not only are you liars trying to cover up some issue with your self-esteem, you are causing your own problems. You can't know if a relationship is even possible with a woman until after you've had sex with her.

Additionally, bad sex can absolutely ruin a relationship. Not only does it lead to cheating, but it leads to all kinds of other arguments and disagreements and resentment that can and will spell the end no matter how strong the rest of the relationship is. You have to know what the sex will be like, and whether you can both handle what it will be before you can know if you'll be able to maintain a lasting relationship. If you postpone sex until later, not only do you risk getting LJBF'd, but what if everything is perfect, and then you realize that you are completely incompatible in bed? The relationship is already over, it's just a question of how long you intend to drag out the death throes.

(* 20 hours means time together, not total time passed. e.g. a 30 minute date, a 2 hour date, a 3 hour date, and a 2.5 hour date = 8 hours, even it they happen over a 2 week period)



4. I don't want to have one night stands/bang every chick that comes along/etc, I only want to use TMM on "this one special girl", how do I do everything right when she comes along?

This is important. The only way to get better at sex is to have more of it. The only way to get better at picking up women is to pick up more of them. Your approach is fundamentally flawed. You can't be doing this to learn "how to spark attraction for those few really great chicks I happen to meet...".(quote from a previous thread where I was answering a posters specific question)

That's like saying you want to learn to throw knives but you don't want to have to throw them every day. You just want to learn so that when that once in a lifetime chance comes up to get up on stage and throw knives at the woman on the rotating wheel, you'll be able to do it. But if you don't throw knives every day leading up to that moment, you're going to skewer the bitch. Same thing here. If you want to be able to attract that special woman, you're going to have to practice on hundreds of un-special women to get it right. If you want to impress that special woman in bed, you're going to have to practice on, at the very least, dozens of un-special women to get it right. If you want to have a good relationship with that one special woman, you have to practice having a relationship with dozens of un-special women in order to learn how. It's just a fact of life.

Let me give you a personal example. I breathe fire. I'm a singer in a band, and as part of my stage I act I breathe fire using 151 proof rum. The shit tastes horrible, it burns your mouth and leaves your lips numb, and is quite a shock to the system when you have to hold a mouthful for 20-30 seconds while you time your burst correctly. It's 75% pure alcohol after all. But if I can't stand holding the shit in my mouth, if my eyes are tearing up and my tongue feels like it's on fire, I'm going to miss my mark. So you know what I do? I breathe fire at home, when no one is around. It's not fun (well, maybe a little bit ), it doesn't entertain anyone, I do it to get used to the feel of the fuel in my mouth, to practice doing it safely, and to learn how best to get a good, impressive flame. That way, when I'm on stage, and the show is going on, and everything's hitting on all cylinders, and I have 300 people looking at me, waiting to see what I'm going to do, I blow an 8 foot flame over the crowd's heads, and people oooh and ahhh, and panties drop all over the room like I just pulled out a 14 inch cock. When the time comes, I can do it right because I spent time practicing, even when the crowd I was preparing for wasn't there. I prepare, because the worst possible thing that could happen would be for the moment to arrive when I'm supposed to do my thing, and instead of blowing an impressive flame, I blow out my torch, gag on the rum, cough pure alcohol all over the crowd, and look like an asshole. Or worse, accidentally set my face on fire, burn down the stage, and ruin the whole show. In stead of everyone being impressed, everyone would think I'm a dumb asshole and they'd never come see me again. If you don't put in the time preparing, you will, without a doubt, fuck it up when that "special" woman comes along.

5. This girl is different/special/whatever...

This might be the most important point of all. No one woman is "special". Sorry, hate to break you pretty little world view, but women are all the same. Each one is a little different when it comes to personality, intelligence, quirks, etc, just like men, but they all have the same drives, the same needs, the same emotions. This one or that one might be more to your taste or be more compatible for you because of your own tastes and quirks, but that doesn't make her special, just more tasty or compatible. She's not special, just better for you.

This is something my friend and I have discussed a lot lately, because he's having this same problem. There's "this one girl" that he likes, he has a lot of respect for her based on her personality, she's really his type, everything. Seems to be a great match. He absolutely refuses to game her, and won't even make a move to get to know her better. It's not one-itis, it's wishful one-itis. He's afraid that when he starts talking to her and putting the moves on her, she'll go for exactly the same things that women he has no respect for always go for, and he will lose his respect for her because she's just like every other woman. You have to realize that this is your problem, not women’s'. They are what they are, and you you can rely on them to continue to be what they are. It is your own limiting beliefs that make this a bad thing. The truth is, women are women, and they all want the same thing: a good man. It doesn't matter if it's a party girl you met in a bar or your dream girl that you met in church, they both want the same thing. And if you can come across like a good man, they will both fall for you in exactly the same way. To see that as a negative is simply selling yourself short.



6. How do I change her/improve our sex life/etc? Everything is great except one thing...

You set the tone for the entire relationship in the first few hours. If you meet her and show her a good time and be nice and all of that crap, but you're faking it, a couple months later when you've dropped the fake front the relationship will fall apart. She expected you to be the guy she met, turns out you were someone else. So be real, be yourself, and don't do things on a first date that you wouldn't do 2 years into the relationship. Same goes for her. After you date a bunch of people your bullshit detector will become more calibrated, and you'll be able to tell when she's putting up a front to impress you. There's nothing wrong with putting up a front, as long as you or she are willing to maintain it throughout the entire relationship.

As an example, there's a girl I'm seeing right now, and every time she's at my house, when she goes to the bathroom, she'll go to the farthest bathroom from wherever I am and run the water in the sink while she pees. I asked her to quit it. I was married for more than a decade, and I do happen to pee occasionally myself, so hearing a woman pee doesn't offend me in any way. I'd prefer she be comfortable and drop the front. I know women pee, fart, shit, and do all kinds of other disgusting stuff, and while I don't particularly want to see her doing any of that stuff, I'm not going to be offended if I accidentally overhear something. She said she'd prefer not to, and I gave her the whole thing about "hypothetically, would you still do that a year, or two, or ten, from now?", and she said she would. Fine, if she's willing to maintain the front that she doesn't do anything disgusting, I'm happy to have a girl who never does anything disgusting in front of me. But if/when she drops it, I'm gonna call her on it. Count on it. She's setting my expectations now, and I'll hold her to them.

That also means you set the tone for the sex in the relationship. If you start out a meat and potatoes man, wait a month to fuck her, and then progress to straight missionary every other week or whatever, that's what you can expect for the rest of the relationship. However, if you nail her ass to the wall that first night, and blow her mind, and allow her to be sexually open with you without being judgmental or whatever, and set the tone of escalating sexuality, she will follow your lead and continue to escalate for the rest of the relationship. It is imperative to your happiness that she come away from that first time thinking she just had a religious experience. Lay the pipe right the first time and she'll overlook your faults, excuse your behavior, and tolerate nearly anything. But what she won't do is escalate later if you cheeze out on her the first time. In fact, she may never want to see you again. It is your responsibility to set the tone, and it is your responsibility to make sure you maintain it.

Guys, if you're complaining that you're in a relationship with a girl for 6 months and she still isn't giving you head, tough shit. That's an uphill battle. If you didn't get head the first or second time you had sex, and you didn't mention anything to her before the third time, you did it to yourself. You set the precedent that she doesn't need to give you head, and she will stick to it. There's a dumb phrase that I heard a lot in music growing up, and that is: Practice doesn't make perfect, practice makes permanent. The point is that the things you do repeatedly become ingrained habit. Practicing an instrument with poor form will cause you to play with poor form. "Practicing" in a relationship with poor form will give you poor form in a relationship. Another way to say it that might be more understandable around these parts is: losing your frame in a relationship, even only for certain aspects of the relationship, gives in to her frame for that aspect of the relationship. If she's not really into head, or if she's had bad experiences in the past, or whatever, and you aren't in control enough to get her to give you the chance to make it a good experience, it's your own fault that you don't get head. Period. Get over it. Accept the fact that head will always be, at best, a "special occasion" thing in this relationship, and let it go.

Now, none of this is to say that change isn't possible. But it requires serious effort, tight game, and a willingness to walk away if she isn't willing to make the changes you want. Plus, you have to be willing to make whatever changes she wants in exchange. Any good LTR is a series of compromises. It is your job to make sure that the compromises you make and expect her to make are ones that you can live with.



7. This girl is too nice to do the crazy stuff I want to do in bed...

No she isn't. The primmest, most uptight, conservative woman in the world will say the nastiest shit in bed you've ever heard. She'll shit on your chest if you tell her to. I know, she looks like a nice girl, you met her at church, she's quiet and reserved, and really nice to everyone, she would never want to do nasty things in the bedroom, right?

You know what she really wants? You won't like it, but I'm gonna tell you anyway. She wants you to carry her in your house, throw her on the bed, hold her hands behind her head, and put your cock in her mouth. She wants you to call her a dirty slut while you fuck her in the ass. She wants you to do anything and everything you can think of in the privacy of the bedroom, the nastier the better, and then be sweet and treat her like a lady in front of her friends. Of course she'll tell them all about the nasty things you do to her, and they'll be silently wishing a man would do those things to them and then be totally cool and quiet about it in public, instead of doing like their boyfriends do and telling the whole world about their nasty exploits and then being an asshole to them in public. Which is exactly why their boyfriends don't get anal or oral, because they don't want them telling the world about it. They just don't feel comfortable and safe doing those things with them, out of fear of being exposed as a slut. Get it?

Women love and want sex, not just as much, but more than men do. They have the very same biological imperative that you do that makes them want sex, only ours is on all the time at, let's say a 7 (on scale of 1-10), while a woman’s is at 5 most of the time, except 4 or 5 days a month when they are on 10. Several days a month they just go crazy for sex, and they will blow your mind with the stuff they are willing to do. They just want you to be non-judgmental about what goes on in the bedroom, and they want you to keep it to yourself when they do all the nasty things they want to do. All you have to do is enable them to be the nasty slut in the bedroom without exposing that side of her to the rest of the world.

So remember, every woman is a nasty slut. Every woman wants to be a nasty slut. That means your sister, your mom, your grandmother. They just don't want their brother, their kids, or their grandkids to know about it, so they'll only do it if they know that whoever they are doing it with won't expose them. The nice girl is not too nice, she'll do whatever you enable her to do.



8. When is the game over? How do I win the game? Etc...

Never. You don't win. Ever. Honestly, a game is a bad metaphor, because "winning the game" is a non-sequitor in this case (look it up you inarticulate bastards). But don't get disheartened, that doesn't mean you're wasting your time. The game is one of self-improvement, and you should never stop improving yourself. Learning to be a strong man and maintaining your frame isn't a game you can play and win, it is something you have to work at every day for the rest of your life. It does get easier once you figure out how to do it in the first place, but that doesn't mean you can stop putting effort into it. The game is over when you die... maybe. I haven't done that yet, so I can't say for sure.

This question comes from the same people who think that they can learn just enough game to hook that one perfect girl and then never think about it again. That's just not how it works. This game is a process, and it's a process of change. It never stops. The whole point is to become a man who is always in the process of becoming a better man. When you do that, others will see it in you, and they will respect you for it. And that is having game.



9. Am I as pathetic as I feel?

Yes, you are. You are always exactly as pathetic as you feel. If you feel pathetic, then you are pathetic. If you feel like superman, then you are superman. That how this shit works. When you hear people say that you need to be confident, that's what they mean. If you feel pathetic, you aren't confident, are you? If you feel confident, you can hardly think you're pathetic. It's all about your mental state. The upside here is that pickup is a positive feedback loop. What I mean by that is, when you successfully pick up a 6, you feel more confident about yourself for being successful. Now you have the confidence to pick up a 7, which makes you even more confident. Now 8s and 9s are "in your league", because you're confident that you can pick them up, and so on. So if you keep working it, and keep picking up the women you feel you deserve, you should see a steady improvement in both your mental state and the quality of women that you pick up consistently. Your relationships with them should get better and, if it's what you're looking for, longer. The sex should get better and better. It just keeps getting better. The first part is certainly the hardest, but that's just how life is. Accept it and do the work, you'll be glad you did for the rest of your life.



10. What if I don't want to be an arrogant asshole to get women? I'm too nice to get women. Etc.

You don't have to be. Let me break it down for you. The number one thing women say they want in a man is confidence. Now, they don't know what they mean any more than you do, but I'll explain it so you can understand it. Confidence is knowing that you are good. Knowing that you can do the things you want to do. Knowing that you have the will and perseverance to accomplish whatever you want to do. Knowing you can show this girl the time of her life, give her more orgasms than she ever has or ever will have in a single hour, make her feel like she has the best guy in the world. Knowing you are good. Arrogance is the overcompensation that comes from unjustified confidence. Someone who is arrogant may brag about their dick size or their exploits or whatever, because they are seeking validation from others. A truly competent man doesn't need to brag. However, arrogance does require confidence, even if it is fake and unjustified. You can't be arrogant without displaying confidence. And confidence is what women like. Since attraction is not a choice, it doesn't matter if the confidence is real or justified, it flips the same switches either way.

So some people think that C/F means being an arrogant asshole, and they to justify their mistake by the fact that they do actually get results with women by being an arrogant asshole. But ideally, what you want is the confidence without the arrogance. Yes, you can get women by being an asshole. But if you want to get quality women, and you want more than a ONS from them, you need to learn the difference between confidence and arrogance. Incidentally, I walk the line between confidence and arrogance daily, I can't help it, I have Lead Singer Syndrome .

This question keeps coming up, and people keep saying "But what if I really am just a sweet, nice guy, how will I ever get women?" I am a sweet, nice guy. I'm so sweet I can hardly stand myself sometimes. I write poetry, bitches! I hold doors and light cigarettes, I buy flowers (rarely, but I do), I compliment women, I say the sweetest things. You'd hate me if you saw me in action.

This doesn't contradict any of the method. It's not that you can't be sweet, it's that you have to learn when it is appropriate to be sweet, and when it is appropriate to reign that shit in. Sometimes, telling a girl her smile makes your heart skip a beat is perfectly acceptable (awwww ). But that time is not on day 1 when you just met her. In fact, that's something you should probably reserve until after you've had sex, and after you've decided that you want to keep her around. That way, when she tells her friends that you're "the sweetest guy ever", it's after she's already told them that you fucked her so good she almost crapped the bed in extacy. Now that's a combination that will make women want you.

So be the nice guy. Be the sweet guy. But know when to stop being so sweet and nice, otherwise people will walk on you. And have the confidence to know that there isn't another guy in the zip code who can rock her world like you can. Even if it's not true. Fake it 'till you make it. While it's arrogance, it will still get you laid until you can turn it into real confidence.



Think about the things I've said, because every bit of it is not just true, it is Truth with a capital T.

MUST READ: On Dominance

Credit here goes to TrueStory on the Attraction Forums

On Dominance

“You have balls that clank when you walk. I love it”
That was one of the text messages I received from my girlfriend when we were talking about men, women and relationships.

I do not skydive,

I don’t use hardcore drugs, bungee jump nor do I save people from the burning buildings. I am neither a police officer, fireman nor daredevil and I do not play extreme sports. Did I mention that I am not a gangster or a criminal.
I am also not a war veteran, I’ve never killed people.

Those are the things, most people believe, give men brass balls. Perhaps? But you don’t have to do all that to be confident and dominant.
Intro

I am notorious for writing LONG posts, that often borderline with inner game circle jerking, but today I wanted to write something that’s been brewing in my head for a very long time. If it wasn’t for my girl’s encouragement I wouldn’t have been able to verbalise it.

And in indirect way, I will attempt to answer few questions I see often on this board.

I want to touch heavy on relationship dynamics, cover sex and why you’re not getting the porn-like kinky sex from your girlfriend. Why she’s apprehensive about having naughty dirty sex with you, as well as do a bathroom quickie, give head while you’re driving, or get fucked in the alley. Nearly every man has fantasies about public bathroom blow jobs, threesomes , cumming on girl’s face, fucking her in the ass, and a lot of other hot kinky stuff they see on porn but can never “get their girlfriends to do”

I also see many sad stories, in which woman wears the pants in a relationship. Those stories repeat themselves ohh-too-often when men are “pussy whipped” and woman “use’ them. The infamous words uttered by many men: “yes honey” and “whatever you like, baby” are getting to me.

“They let their girls walk on them” (without even realizing it) is another text message my girlfriend sent me, regarding her male friends. “They just don’t get it” were the words she used to describe some of her past boyfriends.

I also want to talk about “bouncing back” or when you feel like your relationship roles have reversed. Why you were cocky and funny and teased her a lot, negged her plenty, had her eating out of your hands and suddenly you find yourself chasing your own girlfriend. Out of the blue she has all the power and you have none. What happened? And how my friend put it, “Why in the fuck she’s ignoring me and not answering my calls!!”

The conversation I had with my female roommate, best saved for separate post, but she was talking about a guy she dated: “He’s so in love with me, if I ever cheated on him, I’d have to leave him, because, I couldn’t live with him after he forgive me, because, I know he would”

And most importantly, where it all begins, and why should we ask our dads why you suck with women. Perhaps, something your dad should have asked his dad too
Let’s get started:

What is dominance? I know, you’re saying, “TrueStory shut up with all this Keyboard jockeying shit”. You’re right but I am an asshole so there you go:

• the state that exists when one person or group has power over another;
• authority: the power or right to give orders or make decisions; "he has the authority to issue warrants"; "deputies are given authorization to make arrests"; "a place of potency in the state"

Let’s also look at definition of Submission, and we are not talking about BDSM stuff here:

• the act of submitting; usually surrendering power to another
• the condition of having submitted to control by someone or something else;

In any relationship, sexual, friendship, family, there will always be degree of dominance-submission between people. You notice this at work to very large extreme. And often, your manager might have work related dominance over you, but you would easily dominate him in a fight and kick his ass. So physical, emotional and social dominance/submission are all different categories and having one doesn’t mean you have the others.
Emotional, Sexual and Social Dominance

What I wanted to point out about dominance and submission is that women, naturally, are emotionally and sexually submissive beings. I know, I know you’re going to give me examples of “strong women” blah blah blah. Good. But for every strong dominant woman there is a stronger dominant man. Ironically, I’ve fucked dominatrix (girl that is dominant in sex, and often in relationship). She was on the bottom. She was pretty narcistic bitch, had some psychological issues, and dominated men out of bitterness towards them. When we fucked she was on the bottom. I told her what to do, and how to please me. She has thanked me later, because, I truly made her feel like a woman. Who knew, right?

In practicality, when you start dating a girl, you should automatically frame yourself as dominant. How?
First you need to start believing that every decision you make is the best decision. You absolutely have to blindly believe that you make good decisions and people should follow you and listen to you.

You start working on yourself first, and without sounding like some Inner Game junkie, you have to clean out skeletons out of your closet. Ask yourself if you

o        - Hate, despise women because they have it “easy” and you don’t

o        - Hate people because they have things you don’t

o        - Have anger towards “world”, Government, police, authority, taxes, whatever else has authority over you

o        - Have self doubting thoughts

Self doubting thoughts will never let you be free. They will come up. The less of them you have and when they come up the sooner you address them, the less they will interfere with your leadership. It’s not rocket science and I am not re-inventing the wheel here, No Woman Will Want Self Doubting Man.

It starts how you approach her. Dominant man, I’ve noticed in me and in my natural friends, do not hesitate. They do not worry about getting rejected. They target in on a girl and approach. When they speak they speak clear and loud. They never repeat themselves, nor do they answer any questions they do not want to answer. There is never a decision of “which opener to use” or “should I run this routine or that routine”. Everything is down in the head. There is confidence that material work. Success brings that confidence, repeated exposure to positive results only re-enforce effectiveness of the method.

Dominant man do tell. They don’t ask, they don’t tack on “ok?” or “right?”to their statements. They don’t politely ask if it’s ok to do something. When walking through crowd, their “excuse me” is aftermath. Consider following conversation:

Beta Man: “Hey, hi, excuse me.. hi…can I ask you something?”
Vs.
Alpha Man: “Hey. I need to ask you something. “

Beta: “Would you like to exchange the phone numbers, so umm maybe we can hang out?”
Vs:
“Give me your number; I’ll give you a call sometimes next week”

This kind of submissive passive behavior carries into relationship (if one ever starts). If I had a nickel for every single fucking time I overhear this conversation

Beta-boyfriend: “baby…umm where do you wanna eat?”
Girlfriend: “baby, I don’t care”BF: “baby , I don’t either. Whatever you want. So what do you want?”GF: “I said I don’t care. Pick something”BF: “ umm well, I don’t know, I don’t know what I want… maybe..well sushi?”GF: “You know I don’t like sushi. Pick something else”BF: “umm baby, well, I don’t know, Italian?”GF: “No.. it’s too heavy. I am on a diet, I don’t want Italian”BF:”Well.. I don’t know baby, then you suggest something… I gave you two choices”GF: “I don’t know. I am just gonna warm up a pop tart”BF: “wait. What I wanna go out… let’s go somewhere… we’ll go to that ‘nice expensive restaurant’ you like”GF:” I don’t want to, because, we are going there for dinner this Saturday, with Jack and Jane”

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! PICK A GODDAMN PLACE!

This is how this conversation goes with a dominant male:BF: “Hey baby, get dressed I am hungry!”GF: “Where are we going”BF: “this neat little Greek place, you’ll like it”GF: OK! (or “well I don’t know”)BF: “Today I pick, you pick tomorrow. We are going”


DONE!

Here is another example of dominance in relationship. NEVER EVER ask your girlfriend to do anything. Just pitch that habit right away. You tell her. You can add “please” if you so wish.

Submissive: “baby, if you can, would you bring me ____?”
Aggressive dominant “Baby, bring me ___, please, thanks.”

First Date:

First Date will determine the course of the relationship. THIS IS WHY it is important to be prepared. I cannot stand looking, anymore, at posts saying “FIRST DATE ASAP! NEED HELP. WHERE/What to do!??”

What the fuck is this shit!?

It’s a man’s job to plan a date. Whatever it is, does not matter. “umm well ahh we can meet up for coffee” is NOT a well planned date. However,
“Let’s grab some startbucks at Livingston Ave, talk for a little bit and then we’ll ‘play it by ear’”

Oh and important note “Play it by ear” is ABSOLUTELY pre-planned set of events that should come off spontaneously to her.

On a date, who pays?

You!

Your date should not cost more than $20 for two. Starbucks macchiato is $4.00 and your cup of coffee is $2. Since you picked the place, you pay. I haven’t spent more than $10 on cup of coffee and a cupcake on first date.

You should have second place pre-planned, somewhere near your house.

IF YOU INVITE HER FOR DRINKS buy first round. If she likes you, she will buy you second. If she insists on paying for herself, I jokingly say “get out! I’ll take care of this, you’ll get me a drink/coffee some other day”

It’s also possible you’ll get “who says there will be another date?” shit-test question. THIS IS your time to shine with cocky answer: “with me, there is always second date, unless you screw it up!” while sporting a douchemile (douchebag arrogant half smile when you know you’re being cocky)

Ok this post is not about dating. I just wanted to give some examples.
Assume leadership.

You PICK places to eat. ALWAYS. Helps if you know what kind of food she does not eat or allergic to; if she doesn’t like it, she can suggest something else, and it’s OK to do that, but if she has no definite pick, you always pick.

You PICK where and what to do. Again, if she has something in mind, definite something, she wants to do, and you want to do it too, then do that. About 10% of the time my girlfriend knew what the fuck she wanted to do. Often you’ll hear “I wanna go dancing” or “I wanna cherry martini” or “I just wanna chill”. Those are her moods. Those are not her “plans”. Going to Voodoo lounge to dance in South Beach Friday Evening is a plan. “I just wanna go dance” is NOT a plan. “I just wanna chill” – is time to go get movie, make some popcorn and spend evening on the couch cuddling. Her moods change, if girl says, “I just wanna chill” and I am not jizzing my pants over watching some movie, I’ll suggest quiet local shit-hole in the wall bar for couple quiet calm drinks. Usually, that gets most girls in a good mood to ‘move somewhere fun’.

If you don’t assume leadership, majority of girls will not know what the hell they want. Your passive pussy behaviour will wind you up in an argument. Believe me guys, I was there too. A lot of arguments started from my indecisiveness. Indecisiveness is VERY un-attractive in men. Ask ANY woman.

You “make” decisions for her when she can’t. It’s not just women, but even men ask other men for advice. Sometimes it’s difficult situations that needs third party outsider input but sometimes it’s simple. “Baby, I don’t know what to wear” is her indecisiveness. Tell her “You look soo fucking sexy in that red dress you wore to Martini Park”. Is you making decisions for her. Don’t tell her she should wear it, don’t suggest it. TELL HER! She might say “I don’t know what I wanna eat today!” in a text message. Don’t ask her what she wants, she doesn’t know. Tell her “Chipotle!” or “Go to Subway!”

You don’t say “You should” or “If I were you” because those are passive aggressive. Make statements about what she did or will do and how it will make her feel/look. Instead of “honey you shouldn’t wear that dress” say “That black dress you have, does not make you look good.” Don’t be afraid to “offend her”, because you wont. If she asks you “how does this make me look?” and she looks fat in this, say “Don’t wear it.” If she says Why? Tell her “I don’t like it.” And point something better for her. You will NEVER see her wear that dress again. EVER! (Personal experience)

You always tell the truth no matter how offensive it sounds. I will cover why trust is important and how without it, you will fail. But don’t lie to your girls. If she asks questions you don’t want to answer, tell the truth “I don’t want to answer or have this discussion” or “you don’t want to know”

You put her in her place. This is probably singlehandedly the HOTTEST thing a man can do. A real man does not scream or criticize her. Real man approaches, really close looks into her eyes until she looks down in submission. Arguments are her battle ground because she will use her irrational logic. You can never win and winning the argument will only hunt you down in sweet-sweet revenge from her. You state your point and leave it at that. Unemotional. Stoic. Strong. You let her know that her little tantrums are not working. Waterworks have no effect on your behavior. (Of course some serious concerns need to be discussed, but majority of couple’s arguments are on irrelevant and useless topics)
Self Control, Self Respect and Self Satisfaction bring TRUST

You must ALWAYS exercise self control over your emotions and feelings, over how much you neg her, how you tease her and what you say. Eventually she will pickup on this, ha! Eventually is nearly immediate. Your self control develops trust from her. TRUST is one of the most important things in being dominant.

TRUST IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS IN BEING DOMINANT.

If she does not trust you, she will not follow you. A man that has a healthy self esteem and posses self control can be trusted. If she feels that you can handle yourself, she will let herself be handled by you.

A MAN that handles himself has self respect and self confidence that he can face any problems coming his ways. A VERY STRONG MAN not only faces his own problems but problems of his loved ones.

Only when she can see that you handle her shit tests , and life’s shit tests , and other people’s shit tests , ONLY THEN she will trust you.

TRUST IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS IN BEING DOMINANT.

Once she trusts you, you can do virtually everything with her. And by trust I mean, much deeper than “he wont cheat on me” kind of trust. That’s just beginning of it.

By exercising self control, whenever you do something, it’s precise, planned, thought through, organized, logical and managed action.

For example if you rush through kino escalation on first date and miscalibratedly “go for it”, you will break her trust.

If you get emotional and snap at her, you will break her trust. She will no longer think that you’re stoic and un-shakable.

If she throws you a HOOP and you jump through it, you will break her trust. No longer you have ability to remain un affected by outside world. She cannot rely on you now, because you bend backwards.

If you break down, emotionally, and “give up” she will no longer trust you that you can handle the world, life and perhaps a family one day.

If you get carried away with “love” and emotions, she will no longer trust you with other women. You’re easily manipulated. You can be emotionally dependant and will seek the next “fix”.

If you start asking for sex and sexual favors, she will no longer trust you that you can have your choices of women. Because, men with choices never have to ask. Even though this makes NO SENSE in relationship, because, you’re not supposed to have “choices” but from stand point of evolution and psychology it makes sense to her.

If you start “rewarding” her bad behavior she will no longer trust that you have self respect, she will no longer have respect for you either. A man that lost woman’s respect soon will lose that woman.

If you start telling your buddies about dirty little thing she does for you in bed, she will no longer trust that you will keep her good name in good standing. And now she looks like a “whore” to your friends, and “why are they all giving me dirty looks?”

SHE WILL WANT TO BE A GOOD WOMAN TO YOU because she TRUSTS you will do best for yourself, her and her children that you two *might* have one day.

A man with strong healthy emotions is hard to find. If you become that man who passes all her trust-tests, the kind of man who is NOT shaken by outside world, or inside turmoil in his own head, is the man who is reliable.

She can look up to this man for guidance and emotional stability. When her little emotions are screwing with her head, it’s this kind of man who can keep her in check.
Those are short-spoken truth I’ve heard my girlfriends say, my female friends say, my own mother say and few of my natural friends say.

“I trust you” is probably the most golden token of submission from her and accepting your lead dominant role. The SECOND you hear those words from your woman’s mouth is the second she started believing in you. She will believe in you in several ways:

She will, not always verbally, say “I trust that….

- I trust that….You will treat me great” – this is a loaded statement, because, “treating great” is keeping her in check. Women are emotional beings and often inner game turmoil makes them do irrational things and act stupid. This is biology. Sorry girls. AS A MAN, it is *YOUR JOB* …let me fucking repeat that, YOUR JOB AS A MAN is to handle those instabilities in your, hers and yours, world. YES she will act up. Yes she will throw you a curve ball, yes she will say one day “I am going to a club with some girlfriends” and you will dumb-fundedly say “ummm well ok….just …be safe” or maybe even “just don’t talk to any men!” WRONG! Why? Because, there is NOTHING you can do about this. You know what I usually say, “Tits! Baby, have a great night”

- I trust that….You will not hurt me and protect me” – probably the second most common reason why girls are subconsciously afraid to let the man lead. And I am talking about both, physical and emotional hurt here. She will trust you that you will not cheat on her and hurt her. She trusts you will not raise a hand on her or be abusive in other forms (remember, self control), she trusts that if someone were to disrespect her, you would stick up for her. This is Mystery 101 shit. Protection of loved ones. What the fuck I am telling you same thing again for?

- I trust that….You will not judge me!” FOCKING IMPORTANT! VERY! This is your KEY to kinky sex. She will watch how you talk about your exes. She will watch how you talk about girls with your buddies. She will ask you stories that will reveal how you think about women. She will tell you stories like “Jenni is such a slut. She is such a whore. I cannot believe she slept with that guy, and that guy, and whatever. I bet she has an STD”…and you dumb-fuck would happily say “oh yeah honey, she’s a skanky whore. Yeah I am glad you are not like that” WRONG! Now she knows that woman who’s promiscuous in your opinion is a whore. Now she knows that god forbid you’ll learn her past, she’ll be a whore too in your eyes. Well boys, she is not a whore. The right thing to say to that: “Baby, don’t talk about Jenni like that. Seriously. There is nothing wrong with women liking sex. I think she’s confident and just comparison shopping” Make a joke about it, but sound serious. This is where your true beliefs come in. If you really believe that that behavior is whorish, you need to rethink your beliefs. Because, if your buddy Bill told you about his friend Josh who’s fucking a new girl every other day, you’d call him a player and would probably want to know how he does this. Drop the double standard. And if you think that having multiple partners is “wrong” and unhealthy, you should still not judge people that do.

- I trust that….You will make me feel comfortable being myself”. Otherwise known as she will be ok with being a woman. This is probably a little caveat I missed and many other men miss for longest time. You need to embrace her womanhood. She will thank you for letting her be who she is. When she’s irrational she doesn’t want to reason and have logical discussion. When she wants sweet cuddling loving she’s being a woman. When she wants rough fast hardcore fucking, she’s being a woman. When she wants to have romantic picnic she’s being a woman. When she makes you dinner and puts candles on the table, two glasses of wine she’s being a woman. You love woman and what they do for you, themselves and people they care for. When it takes her 2 hours to get ready in the bathroom, account for it. You know it will take her that long. Planning is man’s job, remember? She is getting pretty FOR YOU, ASSHOLE! So don’t blame her for being late because “someone” had to spend 6 hours getting ready. Plan this into your arrival time, so you’re not late for the reservations. Thank her for being a woman. When she’s finally done getting ready, tell her she looks gorgeous, pretty or stunning. If she was going for “sexy” look then tell her she looks sexy. Come close to her, put your hands around her pull her in, whisper in her ear “baby, I already cannot wait till we get back, the things I will do to you” give her a kiss and pull away, take her hand and walk with her. When she made you dinner, eat with her, look into her eyes and tell her that it was great. Even if it wasn’t. She asked you “how was it?” you tell her it was great because she did it for you. When she’s washing the dishes after, come behind her, put your arms around her lean into her ear, kiss her neck and say “it turns me own when you are being such a good little girl” in low voice. Who knows, this might lead into makeout and passionate sex on the kitchen floor. When she’s being irrational, do not tell her she’s being irrational, do not tell her she’s acting stupid. Just let her vent. Give her a big hug, hold her close and tell her that “everything is going to be ok. Trust me, I will make it ok for you” RE-INFORCE that she can rely on you even if you physically cannot help her, she will still trust in your support.
Vulnerability and Sex

Nobody wants to be vulnerable. However, often, women become very vulnerable when they are intimate with men. Why? Because, in order for woman to orgasm, she has to LET GO of all her concerns, issues, and thinking, and accept that man in her; literally speaking: let a man enter her and know her on the level that only few got to.

The amount of trust she has with you will determine your sex experience.

(Side note, there is also the “amount of anonymity” factor. I’ve had some mind blowing one night stands, with girls I didn’t care about nor they cared about me. Because we both knew we don’t know who we are and chances of running into each other again are none)

If you have sexual experience and know what you’re doing you will naturally lead in bed. Even if she had more partners than you have had, she will still allow you to take her through sexual experience.

When a girl cums she’s very self conscious and she’s afraid you are going to judge her. The judgment factor plays in many other situations: If you “suggest” that she gives you a blow job in the bathroom at the bar, she will immediately think “he’s gonna tell all his buddies, and I will look like a slut” if she does NOT trust you.

However, if you’ve develop connection and TRUST with her, you can TELL her to do things. Because she doesn’t even think about it, all she thinks about is how please you will be. To woman pleasing a man is HOT. Often, girls I date cannot wait to suck my dick, not because, they love it, but because, they love the fact I love it. Their desire to please me sexually is very strong that it overpowers any ‘rational’ thought. You have experience with woman, you have sexual knowledge, she will want you to dominate her. IF you tell her “get on your knees”, she knows that it’s going to be fun. If you say “baby, can you please give me a blow job” she thinks “óh geez, not again…why can’t he just …be a man and just do it”

Same reason she wont be into it, and you will kill the mood if you say “baby wanna try doggy?” YES MORON! I Do. Now you killed the mood.

I’ve made that mistake once. My girl and I were really horny driving around town. We were both cranky from various events in our lives and a good car fucking would fix this. But I couldn’t find discreet spot, I was driving around, asking her if “this is good” or ”how about now”… well guess what I killed the mood and we nearly got into bickering. If I would have had my shit together, and pulled into empty parking lot without asking and told her to get in the back seat, it would have been different ending.
Girls want to be fucked. Fucked hard, soft, slow, fast, aggressively but they want to be fucked. They don’t want to “fuck” a guy. They want to be fucked. In bed assume ownership. Assume that she wants to do everything. If you want to fuck her doggy, bend her over put her on her knees and fuck her doggy. Also women like to be fucked in other places than bed and other times than before you fall asleep. Catch her coming out of the shower and grab her by the robe, pull her in the bedroom and fuck her on the floor. If you two are alone, at home, fuck her on the couch in living room. Fuck her in garage while working on your car. Call her over, “baby, I am thirsty, please bring me some water”, when she comes in pull her in for kissing and fuck her right then and there.

Girls like to be slutty, but they will never admit it. When she’s behind closed doors she fantasizes about men treating her like a dirty whore and degrading her. Those sexual fantasies are just fantasies, but often you can fill some of them. Usually, through dirty talking and role playing . Remember that everything you do in the bedroom is play. You don’t think she’s the whore in real life, but in bed she is. You treat her like one; some women enjoy being slapped, spanked, scratched, bitten, and abused. They like their hair pulled, they like you being rough on their nipples, they enjoy the hard pounding, they like that somewhat “forceful” nature of a man. You flip her around, toss her, grab her, pull her hair, slam her pussy with your dick, put your fingers in her mouth, slap her ass, suck on her neck and tits. She’s not as precious flower as you think she is. She can take it rough. Actually, I was blown by the fact how rough you can get with the girl and she would love it. Let me say that one of the girl, I casually dated, liked it soo rough that her friends seriously thought that we had a serious case of domestic abuse. She liked being slapped, spat on, and even pissed on. Once our sex was soo rough she had a huge red mark across her face I slapped her so hard. In the act, she didn’t feel anything but ecstasy. I am not saying that all girls like that. But it can get pretty rough.

If you want her to talk dirty, then take the lead and talk dirty to her first. Start slow but escalate. Good phrases to start with are (progressively):
“I like hearing you moan”
“you sound so hot when you suck me off”
“I like how your tits bouncing up and down when I fuck you like this”
“I want you to suck my cock like a good little girl”
“I want you to be my naughty girl tonight”
“you are soo good, wet, tight and slippery”
“I want you to be a little slut for me tonight”
“when you cum like a good slutty little girl makes me want to cover you with cum”
“god ..you’d look so hot with my cum all over your slutty body”
“oh baby…I like the noise you make when you suck my dick. When it’s soo deep in your throat”
“I love how you choke on me. I like how you gag. You like your mouth fucked”
“I want to cover your face your tits and your pretty slutty mouth. You’ll be my sexy whore tonight”
Ask her questions, “How does it feel to be filled by me?”
“You look so hot when you cum …do you like when I pull your hair as you cum”
“what will my slutty little girl do to please me?”
“who are you? Are you my little slut??”
“you’re such a whore, I love when you get pounded by me, do you like being my worthless whore?”

I have personally uttered those lines to more than one girl I’ve been with. After a while you develop sense of novelty a girl would have. Some wont really care much for whore-master play.

Give her roles and names. Several times I would tell my girlfriend “I am picking you up at 10, dress slutty, we are going to pickup girls tonight, wear a skirt and no panties” (my gf was bisexual).

Tell her to dress up for you. But make sure you dress up for her. If you want her to have her tits half exposed with pushup bra, make sure you dress in sexy button up and designer jeans with NICE shoes. She will directly reflect you. If you wear shorts, flip flops and t-shirt, she’ll wear same thing. I don’t think a girl looks as hot in casual tee and shorts combination as she does in a dress, skirt, and blouse.

Ever single girl that I’ve been with, “Good girl” and naught girl, likes when man manhandles her. It’s very hard to explain in text, but almost all your actions should be determined. You should not hesitate. You need to be confident and handle her like if you handling something you’re used to.

If you want to fuck her in the ass, assuming you’ve done it before, start by playing around her asshole with your finger. Anal sex is best left for “when you two are drunk” or “right out of the shower”. Otherwise she’ll get self conscious. When she’s drunk she won’t care. Some girls are absolutely not into anal. Nothing you can change about that. Some girls are not into other girls. Nothing you can change about that either. No matter how dominant you are. But if you want to do it, don’t make an ‘event’ out of it. Don’t approach it as “TONIGHT is the BIG NIGHT we try anal”. Just go for it. Play with her ass a little bit, if she tells you to stop, stop. Don’t question it. Come back to it in a little bit, she’ll probably tell you “I don’t wanna do it” You can say “If it hurts I’ll stop” …she might need a little bit ‘convincing’ but all you need to convey to her that you know what you’re doing and she should trust you. “Baby, I know how to do it right, you won’t hurt, I promise, trust me” Then again if she says no, then she says no. She also needs to know that she wont hear through the grapevine from her friends that she was fucked in the ass. So don’t yap your mouth. This shows in your conversations about your exes. If she knows you are discreet she will want you do a lot of things to her and with her.

Sometimes, if you’re very determined it might take several one-on-one talks about things you two should try. But never ask. Dominant guys don’t ask. “Baby, we should try anal sometimes” If you don’t know what you’re doing, don’t say it; if she asked you If you’ve done it before, say yes. She needs to feel safe and that you’re not going to hurt her. Again, when doing it, self control comes in a major play. You have to be SOOOO SLOW AND GENTLE and it takes a lot of patient. If you cannot control yourself, you’ll find it hard to do it right and you’ll end up hurting the girl.

Threesomes :

It’s a lot easier to find a girl that’s already into girls than trying to convince your girlfriend to have one. Because, then she’ll “do you a favor” and she wont enjoy it. Plus there will be a lot of awkwardness and jealousy.
Dominant Male Attitudes and Behaviors

You do not “own” her but you do in a way. She’s not your possession but she’s there for you to “use” and enjoy. I know this sounds pretty sexist, but it is true. Women want to “belong” to a man. We are not talking about financial or materialistic way. We are talking about emotional and psychological way. You don’t own any rights to her but being intimate gives you right to touch her where ever you want on her body. It also gives you sexual access to her. In other words you should never ask for sex. In fact, most of the time, if you’re REALLY good she will be asking you for sex. Trust me.

Dominant men are good in bed. LEARN! Practice multiple orgasm, exercise your PC muscle, whatever it takes to get good. Read books, watch porn, do whatever you can. My good friend once said, that if you fuck woman 4 times and out of all those fucks JUST ONE was ABSOLUTELY MIND BLOWING - toe curling, and the other three sucked, she will come around just to occasionally catch that ONE GOOD FUCKING. Needless to say he has no issues getting girls.

Alpha male are dominant in life over almost everything they do. This is why “quarter back of the team” bangs cheerleaders. Because football players are usually dominant, they own the game, they strive to win. That’s dominance. If you’re not athlete, learn to be dominant in other aspects of your life.

You can do no wrong. This is pretty selfish thing to think. But a human can do no wrong. Human makes mistakes. A bit zen-ish but think of your life as experience. All the decisions you make are good and sound at that specific moment. However, it might not be good and sound after you suffered the consequences. And as a man you are responsible for ALL your actions, often action of your loved ones too. Guys with kids know exactly what this means.

Always push the envelope! Be bold. Dominant man are bold. They don’t pussyfoot around the bush. You want something get it.

Dominant man says “NO” more often than he says yes.

Your cocky and funny only works when you have dominant frame behind it. When you tease her and neg her out of bitterness and angriness, you may hit on her self esteem and actually manage to get her. But eventually you will run out of ‘juice’ and she will see the true submissive you. So when you tease and play always come out on top. Girls are not competitive and they secretly like when guys put them down. Use common sense.

Treat her like a little kid. I don’t know why but girls love it. Freud would probably mention obsession with father figure. But Freud is a sick fuck.

Give her nicknames. She’s bunny, cutie, kitty, etc. Those are diminishing nicknames that are fun to address her by when you’re being sweet. Be sweet. “How’s my kitty doing today?” is much better than “How’s your day honey?” ; this can get pretty gay, one time my girlfriend and I got carried away with LOLCats.com and the “lol”-speak; embarrassed to admit it, we acted like two 7 year old kids. Petz tahk wif the kittah n bein cutez kan be fuhn! Don’t talk like a retard with her like this all the time, but you can act “ghey” once in a while. Shows your childish nature.

I touch my girlfriends a lot. I don’t touch them in public where other people see, but I discreetly touch her whenever I can. If you catch yourself in empty hallway, make out. Push her against the wall and kiss her. Get her turned on. Girls love being turned on in places they can’t have sex. If I am in the club dancing with her, find a dark spot and finger her inconspicuously.

Send her dirty text messages, and write her naughty fantasy emails. I will actually make a WHOLE thread on dirty talking. I’ve perfected this art

Kissing. Dominant man go in for a kiss and pull out first. Makes her want more. No rocket science here. Don’t use your tongue too much. When making out I almost ALWAYS put my hand behind her head and pull her hair gently. You run your fingers between her hair close to the scalp, and form a fist but don’t yank on it.

Holding. When she’s in your arms she needs to feel safe. If you don’t have big arms you can still make her feel safe. She has to be sinking inside of you and look small in your arms. She can lie on your chest and listen to your heart beat. Pull her in closer. Always pull her in closer.

Compliments. Remember compliment coming from high value person carries high value. If you compliment how good she looks, how amazing she can cook, how fun she is, how funny her stories are you’re promoting her self esteem. You want her to feel confident about herself. Often times when she’s down, sick, having hormonal week, or just having bad week, compliments can make her day, also brings me to:

FLOWERS and small gifts. If you dated more than two months, and you haven’t bought her flowers, go out and get her small bouquet tomorrow! No roses, though. For her birthday she gets roses. I am bad with flowers but some of my natural friends do this and do this right. They send small little flowers to her work place, with “Smile, you big dork!” notes. Send her a card. Stupid shit like this will make her go “awwwww he’s soo sweet”. You’re going for AWW effect. You’re not buying her affection, because, you already have it.

Texting and calling. I think it’s better to spend some time on quality text back-and-forth or a good conversation over the phone than small short texts back and forth through the day. Remember we all have lives outside of our girlfriends. Spend time doing shit you need to be doing instead of talking to her all day.

She is NOT your priority in life. She’s accompanying bonus. She is NOT the one, she’s not ‘the girl you gonna marry’ she’s not ‘love from first sight’ she’s there to accompany you on your life journey. Marriage is not ultimate destination. If you choose monogamy. Marriage is institutional legal agreement.

Her head games are just that. Her head games. There will be times she will test you. She will start playing head games, flirting with boys in front of you, ignoring you, throwing scandals. This is a good sign that you are slipping and your frame is getting weak and she’s losing respect for you. Typically, small little shit tests , here and there, are done to assure her little self that you’re the man she met and you haven’t changed. Typically, small shit tests are cries for attention. Typically, when women get hormonal and feel neglected.

However, when her head games get SERIOUS, you have two choices: pickup yourself and figure out what is slipping. Typically it’s your fault. You’re getting overly jealous, you’re getting clingy, or you’re getting needy. Or second: dump her and find something new. I don’t wanna hear “we dated for 10 years” crap. Maybe 9 of those 10 years were great and last year was miserable. Let’s not make rest of your life miserable. Move on. Most of failing relationships are not salvageable.
Politically incorrect mentality to have:

Some of those are not necessarily serious but take them at least half seriously.

- She’s here to please me
- She’s hot girl and I like her body
- Those tits are for me to hold, grab, bite, lick, suck, etc. Whenever I want.
- My dick belongs in her pussy and her mouth
- She is excited to give me blow job. She gets to suck me off
- She can’t wait to have me inside of her
- I will keep her happy if she keeps me happy first
- She comes to me, for me, and before me.
- In bed her body belongs to me. I can cum on it wherever I want.
- She can’t get enough of my cum to swallow. (I know girls like this)
- Yes, she’s “that kind of girl” and I think it’s hot
- I don’t judge her for her past. Everyone loves getting strange
- There are no whores, sluts, or skanks in this world. Only kinky fantasies
- I never ask permission for ANYTHING
- I come first except in bed
- If I cum first, I’ll make sure to cum again, so she can cum for me
- She cums for me. Her orgasm is for me. It’s her way of thanking me of a good lay
- Sex in public places is not a big deal.
- “If you don’t make it a big deal, it won’t be a big deal” –Savoy
- Girls come and go. They are like colds
- I don’t keep her on the leash. She can always walk away.
- Only three mistakes are allowed. For you and for her
- She wants you to do things to her, not lets you.
- By the time you slip fourth time, she has already slipped and fell on someone else’s dick
- I will take and consider your input, but decision is ultimately up to me
- It’s My Way Or High Way
- I don’t meet you in the middle, you need to come 75%
- The time it takes you to get over her is equivalently proportional to amount of emotional investment you’ve put into her and relationship. ~ Paraphrased Paul Janka

If you think some of those are FUCKED UP, like I said, take them half seriously but I have NO problem telling those beliefs to any girl I meet, date or fuck.
Sense of Entitlement

Dominance is knowing that you have full earthly right to do or act certain way. The more sense of entitlement you posses the more dominant you’ll be. If you feel that you’re entitled to something and you go out and “get it” (well, legally of course) you just showed your determination.

You need to learn how to walk this earth like you entitled to have ANY woman you want. Your smile, your attitude, your eyes, your body language , should convey that you’re here and you’re here to get what you want. Guys like those; you see them in bars and on the street, ooze the dominance. They are true alphas, somewhat intimidating. Be one of them. Take space. Take actions. Don’t “squeeze by”. Parade your way through.

No excuses. Dominant men do not make excuses.

If you came too soon and she didn’t, don’t make excuses “umm well I was tired” and shit like this. You probably are. But you owe her one now. Better fuck her brain out of her next time.

Do not ever apologize for your shortcomings. In your own world you’re perfect. Having a little arrogant attitude, healthy one, will get you far with girls. You don’t need to think you’re the best thing since sliced bread…oh wait, you should.
Books to read:

At your leasure: “The Way of the Superior Man ” by David Deida
Definitely get Relationship Management program. It helped me verbalize a lot of things I’ve done naturally. Savoy really has his shit figured out.
Paul Janka – he has a lot of truth in his words. Google him he has several products out as well as some free info.
Mode One – probably one of the best guys to show how to be a real man. I like his style of communication. He’s got some products out
Zen Mack – haven’t heard from him in a while. He has some free videocasts and podcasts. It’s good, a little bit too ‘spiritual’for me.
The Fine Art of Erotic Talk by Bonnie Gabriel
Tucker Max – “I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell ” as well as his website. A true “asshole”
“A Complete Assholes Guide to Handling Chicks ” by Karl Marks and Dan Indante FUNNY AS HELL
David Shade and Bring out her Inner Slut. It’s an audio program. Good shit, even though I think he’s kinda creepy

Sarging Alone, and why you should try it!

Credit here goes to Scooby on the Attraction Forums

I know a lot of guys sarge alone , and if you already do – you’ve got my respect! If you don’t, you should give it a try.
I’m not addressing sarging alone by Day in this post - you can find info on that in other posts. This deals with sarging alone at night, particularly in bars, not necessarily loud clubs.

So why sarge alone?
Here is a quick outline of the reasons why we should sarge alone . I will expand on these further down.

It will lead to greater confidence
Inner game will be improved
It will help with your Alpha frame – being the self-sufficient guy
Your game will improve and take on a different aspect– more practice, means you will get better. Not only more approaches, but different situations to adapt to.
Increase your social circle
Can be done anytime, at a time that suits you. No waiting for the weekend to catch up with mates.
If you can sarge alone , it will be much easier with your wing , much easier
It will get your much better at approaching , you will drastically reduce your fear – not totally, but mostly (not that it has totally gone away for me, I still get some fear if a see a SHB, but fuck it is a lot easier now).

Yes it’s hard, but in this world the things that come hard to us are the most worthwhile. I’m almost certain that in Sydney where the population is 4 million that very very few guys sarge alone here......... because it’s hard.

Isn’t it more fun with your mates?
Well….. yeah, it is actually.

But that’s not the aim here, entirely.

I can go out with my pivot, with some fellow Sydney PUA’s or my AFC mates, and I will have a great time with all groups – in fact ill have a fuckin great time! The fact is I probably don’t have as much of a good a time sarging alone as with any of these groups, but I do get extra practice in. And I get better.

Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy it, but it’s closer to a “mission” if you get my drift.

The Excuses
Ah yes, the excuses are many. Some of the ones that I've come across are:

Everyone will be wondering why I am there by myself
Ill be better when I'm with my mates
I’ve got no safety net – I need to be around with people
What if I see someone I know – won’t it be embarrassing if they see me by myself
Won’t I look strange by myself?
What if they ask my why I’m there with no friends

Yes it feels strange, it feels uncomfortable. When you feel this way, you KNOW you are learning – you are trying something outside your comfort zone – you are developing.

These excuses are just self limiting feelings – they actually have no logical foundation – it just that going out alone goes against what we are used to and it feels strange.

The fact is that a lot of these things are very similar to reasons why we don’t approach at all, even with our wings.

An extension of the 3 Second Rule
We are all familiar with the 3 second rule. Well, there is another rule that I’ve found helps when going out alone: go straight into the bar / club with no hesitation.

Too many times, you might circle past the club, deliberate whether you should go to another club, or just convince yourself otherwise for a whole list of reasons why you shouldn’t do it.

Do it straight away. If there is a bouncer, talk to him on the way in. Talk to anyone guy or girl. You need to get into a social mood.

Warm up sets are ESSENTIAL. This can take the form of the bouncer, the bar staff, other guys if you like. Other guys are so easy for warm ups – “hey, who won in the footy today?... get outta here, no fuckin way!?”, and off you go.

Get yourself into mingling or talking to someone, anyone, ASAP.

And while were talking about warming up, I have found that when you’re on your way to the venue with mates or wings, there is a sense of excitement; there’s testosterone in the air; a sense of anticipation that tends to bounce of one another. When you’re alone, this is much harder to get in this mood. Music is helpful to get you pumped up. Talk to people on the way to the club.

Ditch the security blanket
You go out with your mates and you have a sense of security, a feeling of belonging and being part of a group. If you’re out with a wing and he goes to get a drink or to the toilet, you KNOW he’s coming back so there no big deal when you’re there by yourself.

What happens if he doesn’t come back? In my AFC days, if say, I was with a mate and he took ages to come back (maybe he met someone he knew at the bar or something) I grew uncomfortable waiting for him to come back. That was then.

When you’re out by yourself, you have no “base” – normally with you’re with your mates or your wing , you have a base were you can stand or sit and check out the place, or someone who you can do a walk of the place to see the talent and come back to your wing and report. It’s a place you can just hang, or take a break.

When you’re by yourself there is no base – its all you. You can’t depend on a safe place. So you have to get over that, it’s a test of social pressure. But this social pressure is not something that other people are applying to you, its pressure that you are putting on yourself.

If you think at first you will struggle to do it alone, try just walking into a bar and just stand there. That’s right, just hang there by yourself. Casually look around without drawing any attention than normal to yourself – you will notice that NO ONE notices you. No one!!

The concerns you have about “what will they think of me” are unfounded. Of course these are very similar feeling to those we get when we make excuses for approaching in any situation, alone or not. Those feelings go along the lines of “what will these girls think of me asking their opinion on something” or “will they blow me out”. Its funny how after sarging alone , these excuses just don’t materialize at all.

It is in this way, amongst others, that can help improve your game.

AA RelapsesWe all get it from time to time. I still find that sometimes I hesitate with sets now. It fluctuates, particularly if you have had a break from sarging – it takes some time to get back into the groove again.

When I was stuck with approaching alone early on, I actually rang my pivot, told her what I was doing and how I was shitting myself. I told her that I was intent on breaking the dry spell and that I was going to open alone no matter what. This had the effect of an expectation from someone else that I had to do it – there was no way I was going to disappoint someone else and end up looking like a fuckin pussy.

The result – the dry spell was broken. So if you find yourself chickening out of approaching alone, tell someone you are going to do it – even post of the boards what you are going to do, and tell us you going to report back to us on how you went.

Practice – if you don’t practice or sarge regularly your game will lapse – you need to keep it up. My ups and downs are closely related to my levels of sarging.

Methods of approaching & overcoming the initial uncomfortablenessYou can use most openers when sarging alone . Here are some tips for beginners starting out, and a lot of the things mentioned in this section parallel normal pickup.

I’m still a big fan of opinion openers, however as my game progresses I tend to mix it in with more situational openers, then stack.

You can use the opinion opener with the frame / look on your face of “oh, ill just ask them” and then launch into “hey guys, how bout a real quick opinion on something before I go”. Note the FTC built into the opener. It fits well with the fact that I’m just walking past, and is anchored particularly well in open set bars that aren’t packed full of people – in these sorts of environments, its not so packed that people cant see who is coming in and out of this place – the reason I mention this situation is that it is regularly the case in a lot of venues during the week; and I have done a lot of solo sarging during the week.

I’ve also just tested the “walk straight up and ask them” approach. I’m in the frame of “fuck it, I don’t care what anyone thinks” – I get an especially big kick at doing this if there are a nearby group of guys eyeing of a group of girls and I just stroll past them and open the chicks – you can “feel” their eyes on you and the “WTF” expressions. Great feeling, especially for the ego.

If you like, and you have concerns about being congruent when being there by yourself, it’s easy to use your phone if it make you more comfortable or fits the situation. For example, you can look at your phone if reading a text message and have a quizzical look on your face – it’s just something that you have to get an opinion on!! You can even send a fake message to yourself so you get the added “beep” effect of a message effect, if you’re one for the authentic experience!! You can even pretend that you’re talking on your phone – remember to have it on silent (you don’t want it to ring while you’re supposedly talking on it!!) – You talk about a topic that conveniently is the same as the opener you are about to use.

I've used a walk to the bar / toilet to do a discreet scan of the place – its best not to waste too much time doing this.

The more you think about people looking at you, the more likely you will not approach that night – so stop worrying about it.

Sometimes I get a drink, but most of the time I just get a diet coke.

The last thing worth mentioning is that, if you still find it hard to get over the hurdle of being there by yourself, one thing that helped me earlier on was outlining out in my head (or on paper) a map of the place that I am sarging alone – what this does is show all the possible locations that sets may be so that you have a contingency for what to do for every possible location. Why do this? Well, when you’re with a group or a wing , you can more easily move through the venue and stop and start in different places. When you first enter a bar by yourself you need to open quickly, so it helps to have a prior knowledge of the where all possible sets may be - you’re prepared.

A problem with sarging alone - 2 SetsOf course the obvious problem with sarging alone is isolating, particularly 2 sets. When you’re with your wing , he adds another person to the set and it’s easier to steal your target away from the group. We all know by now that the obstacle in a 2 set does not want to be left alone and the target doesn’t want to leave her friend by herself.

My game is not at the level where I can consistently merge forward, so I generally run 2 sets as long as I can just for the practice and see where it goes. It’s really good just to throw some new shit out there and see what the reaction is.

Large sets are goodOne thing I have noticed is difficulty in sets over say 5 or 6 people. Perhaps its self limiting belief relating to where my game is at the moment. What I have found that the massive groups require a lot of control to keep all of them interested and they fracture into splinter groups more easily. Your energy level has to be even higher for larger groups, particularly with no wing . Often you wing can come in and help break up the group to enable you to isolate. In the big sets you have to be sure you have the whole group attracted until its time to work on your target.

As in normal game, mixed sets are your friends. Open the guys, always. Then the whole set opens easily.

The question: Why are you here by yourself?You know what, the question of why I am there by myself RARELY has come up – it is so rare that it’s really not worth worrying about it. Of course, a lot of the time it’s the confidence that you have something to say in any given situation – I’ve found the best line is “I was out with my friends and they went home, so I decided to make some new friends – guess what!! …..you’re my new friends” (a high five or a hug is good here). Remember of course you don’t even have to answer them, you can just stack into something else. You can always talk about it in comfort too.

Don’t even bother opening with something like “I’m just waiting for my friends” or anything like that – in my opinion, there’s no need to lie about your friends coming later.

I’ve actually found that at times I’ve WANTED to tell them why I was alone, my own type of qualifying, which of course is bad. I stopped doing this and found that it doesn’t get raised.

It can be looked at as a DHV, as someone who has the confidence to go out and meet total strangers by themselves.

Compliment Your GameCompliment it with your sarging with mates. You will notice that being alone will add another dimension your overall game – and that’s what this game is all about – experiencing different environments and gaining the social intelligence for any situation.

Train yourself to get into a habit, whenever you can squeeze in a lone sarge.

Where to from here? My next aim for sarging alone : improving forward merging of sets so that I can walk into a bar of strangers and end up owning the place. My current style is more of “under the radar” style, rather than the “look at me” style.

Anyway, I’m sick of typing, I hope this helped some people out there.

So if haven’t tried sarging along, try it! What are you waiting for?